From India to America...
Naman: When did you decide to come to America? and Why?
Dad: I decided to come in 1980 because there were more opportunities in the US for Electrical Engineering. I also planned to get a good industrial project and take it back to India. At the same time I started preparing for the GRE and TOEFEL for admission into Engineering school. Also, my family was not very rich back home, so there was nothing holding me back from exploring my options.
Naman: What brought you to America and not a different country? Did you have any support here?
Dad: Although I had no support in America, it was the best option because everyone came here. No one went anywhere else to be honest. The U.S. schooling system was very welcoming and the VISA policies weren't as strict as they are now.
Naman: How much money did you come with?
Dad: I brought $4000 with me the first year. Out of that, $1800-2000 went for first semester tuition, and I needed another $200-250 a month to survive. Rent was $90 (very cheap) and the rest was for food, transportation, recreation, and everything else. After a few months, I worked twenty to thirty hours off campus for $3 an hour. At that time, I had a Teaching Assistant position and tuition was free. The school would also pay around $600-$700 per month.
Naman: Did you ever feel like you wanted to go back? When did you decide this was the place for you?
Dad: No never! I knew this was the right place after first semester.
Naman: How easy was it getting to know people and make friends? And how did you connect to Indian Culture?
Dad: It was very easy. I already knew English, so it was an advantage. New Jersey had one of the largest Indian community, so I never felt out of Indian culture.
Naman: How often did you go to temple or get Indian food?
Dad: Only on the weekends. We didn't actually go to the temple. Rather, we would go to peoples' places where they held bhajans and kirtan (spiritual chanting). Some weekends we would have to skip in order to study for exams.
Naman: How were you able to integrate American and Indian cultures together?
Dad: In the beginning it felt a bit awkward. Then I understood the American culture a little better. For instance, I could not comprehend dating and sex before marriage. It took me a long time to digest all these novel concepts. For that reason, I didn't understand divorce either. In India, most of us marry for life. Other than some extenuating circumstance, we are able to rationalize the issues and make sense out of it.
Naman: When did you start worrying about getting married? Did you wanted to get married at that age?
Dad: I never worried about getting married. However, I was late in getting married. I was nearly 28 and that it only for most Indians. Everyone in my family got married at the age of 21 or 22.
Naman: Did you know you were going back to India to get married? And want to come back to American after marriage?
Dad: Yes, it was an arranged marriage. Talks between my family and your mom's family began in January or February of 1988. Once everything was set, I finally went to India in July, 1988. We got married on July 27th and within a week, I went back to America with your mom.
Naman: Are you happy you chose America?
Dad: Yes, I am incredibly happy I chose America. I am so grateful for the opportunities it has provided for me and my family. It was a great decision on my part to get out of India and make a living for my own somewhere else. I had nothing to lose.
Naman: If you could change one thing, what would it be?
Dad: Absolutely none. I would not change anything. Let life take its turns. Everything happens for good reasons, even bad things. Bad things makes you strong and helps you grow as a person. It changes your perspective to life.
Dad: I decided to come in 1980 because there were more opportunities in the US for Electrical Engineering. I also planned to get a good industrial project and take it back to India. At the same time I started preparing for the GRE and TOEFEL for admission into Engineering school. Also, my family was not very rich back home, so there was nothing holding me back from exploring my options.
Naman: What brought you to America and not a different country? Did you have any support here?
Dad: Although I had no support in America, it was the best option because everyone came here. No one went anywhere else to be honest. The U.S. schooling system was very welcoming and the VISA policies weren't as strict as they are now.
Naman: How much money did you come with?
Dad: I brought $4000 with me the first year. Out of that, $1800-2000 went for first semester tuition, and I needed another $200-250 a month to survive. Rent was $90 (very cheap) and the rest was for food, transportation, recreation, and everything else. After a few months, I worked twenty to thirty hours off campus for $3 an hour. At that time, I had a Teaching Assistant position and tuition was free. The school would also pay around $600-$700 per month.
Naman: Did you ever feel like you wanted to go back? When did you decide this was the place for you?
Dad: No never! I knew this was the right place after first semester.
Naman: How easy was it getting to know people and make friends? And how did you connect to Indian Culture?
Dad: It was very easy. I already knew English, so it was an advantage. New Jersey had one of the largest Indian community, so I never felt out of Indian culture.
Naman: How often did you go to temple or get Indian food?
Dad: Only on the weekends. We didn't actually go to the temple. Rather, we would go to peoples' places where they held bhajans and kirtan (spiritual chanting). Some weekends we would have to skip in order to study for exams.
Naman: How were you able to integrate American and Indian cultures together?
Dad: In the beginning it felt a bit awkward. Then I understood the American culture a little better. For instance, I could not comprehend dating and sex before marriage. It took me a long time to digest all these novel concepts. For that reason, I didn't understand divorce either. In India, most of us marry for life. Other than some extenuating circumstance, we are able to rationalize the issues and make sense out of it.
Naman: When did you start worrying about getting married? Did you wanted to get married at that age?
Dad: I never worried about getting married. However, I was late in getting married. I was nearly 28 and that it only for most Indians. Everyone in my family got married at the age of 21 or 22.
Naman: Did you know you were going back to India to get married? And want to come back to American after marriage?
Dad: Yes, it was an arranged marriage. Talks between my family and your mom's family began in January or February of 1988. Once everything was set, I finally went to India in July, 1988. We got married on July 27th and within a week, I went back to America with your mom.
Naman: Are you happy you chose America?
Dad: Yes, I am incredibly happy I chose America. I am so grateful for the opportunities it has provided for me and my family. It was a great decision on my part to get out of India and make a living for my own somewhere else. I had nothing to lose.
Naman: If you could change one thing, what would it be?
Dad: Absolutely none. I would not change anything. Let life take its turns. Everything happens for good reasons, even bad things. Bad things makes you strong and helps you grow as a person. It changes your perspective to life.